"I've read oodles of self-help books, and "It's Never Personal" stands out for avoiding platitudes or easy answers. Victoria Kennedy's framing of the "negative cognitions" is sheer genius. Removing negative self-talk from the "limiting belief" shelf, she refreshes the idea with neuroscience and attachment theory. This shows how negative cognitions are simply byproducts of our brain development--perhaps not "beliefs" at all. Then, instead of suggesting we flip them to the positive, Kennedy brings in Jung's idea of the shadow. We approximate a more honest and holistic view of ourselves and others when we relinquish the binary true/false paradigm altogether.As I was reading this book, I had so many insights into things I've taken personally and where those feelings may have come from. This has helped me let go of hurt feelings I've carried for decades--even ones I didn't think could even be addressed. I've also avoided taking things personally when I've seen those patterns pop up in my thinking. A friend did let me down recently, we discussed it, and I moved on so fast she wasn't sure I was being sincere. But I was able to let it go with the tools in this book. What happened--happened. But it wasn't about me."It's Never Personal" is for personal development junkies like me. Even if you're familiar with some of the spiritual/energetic or psychology tools in this book, you'll appreciate how Kennedy pulls them together into one life-changing conversation."
-Cynthia C
"Having just finished It’s Never Personal, I can honestly say it’s one of the most impactful books I’ve read in years. Its insights into human connection, emotional dynamics, and interpersonal conflict are both profound and immediately applicable — not only in clinical work but in everyday relationships. As a practitioner, I know this book will meaningfully influence how I show up with clients from this point forward.So, who should read this?Therapists — for its clear articulation of the emotional undercurrents that shape so much of what unfolds in the therapy room.Clients — for its compassionate, non-pathologizing lens on struggle and its empowering guidance toward healing.Couples — for its accessible, practical tools that foster understanding, repair, and deeper connection.Everyone — because if you’ve ever experienced connection — or disconnection — this book will speak to you.Yes, everyone should read this book. It’s a powerful reminder that beneath the surface of our reactions and defenses, we are all working to better understand ourselves and each other."
-Amazon Review
"This book is a game changer! It’s Never Personal blends psychology, neuroscience, and ancient wisdom into a powerful, easy-to-follow 5-step process for releasing emotional baggage. It helped me understand how to stop internalizing negativity and finally let “it” go. Practical, insightful, and deeply healing — a must-read for anyone ready to move forward emotionally and mentally."
-Amanda C.
"This book is a gift-- a practical guide to a deep sense of freedom. Vicki leads us to a truer perspective that honors the personal experience while releasing the grip of unnecessary suffering. It’s not about indifference, but about becoming empowered. If you’ve ever struggled with taking things personally, this book is for you!"
-Katie DeAscanis, LMHC Winter Park, FL
“It’s Never Personal” by Vicki Kennedy would be a good read for anyone who is considering enhancing their progress in therapy and getting back control over their lives. Vicki is an excellent therapist and educator, I deeply admire her dedication to excellence, her wisdom, and her ability to explain complex things in a simpler way. Her book could be a great asset to anyone who is working on how to stop taking things personally and take back control of their lives.She does an excellent job explaining the mechanisms of how these beliefs and behaviors originate, and how to get out of the trauma vicious cycle. Her book explains and breaks down blocks on the way to freedom from the past burdens. Great read, would definitely recommend!”
-Aly Landry, LMFT, LMHC, NCC Mount Dora, FL
"It's Never Personal offers a beautiful fusion of psychological insight and ancient spiritual wisdom. Vicki guides readers through the process of healing the root wounds that cause us to take things personally. Vicki doesn't just tell you to "let it go"- she shows you how to do it, step by step, with deep compassion and profound wisdom. Her 5-Step Process is a clear and empowering roadmap that anyone can use to learn to stop taking things personally. It's Never Personal challenges the common tendency to spiritually bypass trauma and instead emphasizes the importance of honoring our pain before reaching the liberating realization that there is nothing to forgive - a concept echoed in A Course In Miracles. This book is for anyone who wants to understand why they take things personally, how to shift that pattern, and how to reach a place of freedom. If you are a healer, a spiritual seeker or someone who wants to grow past old stories, this is an essential read. Vicki's voice is truly a gift."
-Leslie Larson, MS, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Hypnotherapist
"It’s Never Personal is more than just another book—it’s a profound invitation to return to Self. With extraordinary depth, clinical insight, and soulful compassion, Vicki guides us to unravel the protective narratives we’ve built and meet our emotional pain not with fear, but with compassion, courage, and clarity. This isn’t a book that simply informs—it transforms.Through vulnerable stories, reflective insights, and practical tools, It’s Never Personal offers a deeply nurturing roadmap for healing. Vicki masterfully blends clinical expertise with heartfelt wisdom, inviting us into a journey of true integration—from rawness to awareness, from fragmentation to wholeness."
-Teona Kim Alexander, MA, LMHC, NCC
"This book is an essential reading for counseling practitioners, clergy, and educators, but equally valuable for anyone seeking to heal wounds we carry and have struggled to release. Particularly, her 'widening the view' approach transforms our capacity for empathy, even toward those who have hurt us or differ from us. In a world that often feels divisive and frightening, she provides a roadmap for recognizing our shared humanity and how our nervous system responds to connection, showing how relationship repair guides us back to wholeness."
-Dr. Georgina Panting, Professor of Counseling and Mental Health and Cofounder of Eirene Counseling Services
“As I moved through the pages of “It’s Never Personal” I was captivated by Kennedy’s multifaceted approach at conceptualizing, and healing from, the psychological and relational wounds that we all experience. She provides a practical model designed to enhance one’s internal and interpersonal functioning. Furthermore, this dynamic narration elicited a deeper sense of Spiritual and Existential reflection, where I found myself utilizing the steps in this model, while considering the needs of my deeper self. This book personally spoke to me about my wounds, my relationships, and my existence.”
-Dr. Jeremiah Stokes, LMHC, Psychotherapist, Professor
“This is an excellent resource that was written in a practical and accessible language while offering deep insights. A must read!”
-Dr. Javier Sierra, LMHC, LMFT
"It’s Never Personal is a soul-stirring guide to healing the emotional wounds we carry from betrayals, rejections, and the pain we’ve taken to heart. With clarity and compassion, the author offers a transformative roadmap for anyone stuck in the cycle of hurt, resentment, or shame. The 5-Step Nothing Personal Process is a masterful blend of psychological insight and spiritual wisdom—practical, relatable, and deeply empowering. This book isn’t about quick fixes or empty advice. It’s about finally understanding why we hurt—and how to release the burden in a way that honors our story and restores our peace. If you’re ready to stop carrying pain that was never yours to hold, this book is the companion and guide you’ve been waiting for."
-Dr. Marni Feuerman, licensed psychotherapist and self-help author